4 Months

Once again we are at another month! We've finally settled into a routine for the most part. Naps are still a total crapshoot and are quite the effort on my part. Usually it goes something like this: Swaddle both girls and rock them to sleep. Eleanor does this fake cry to keep herself from falling asleep which also keeps Amelia awake. Bounce around with both girls because Eleanor doesn't want me to sit. Get Eleanor to be quiet and sleepy, sit down because my back can't handle it any more, Eleanor starts up again, stand up and bounce. Repeat this process at least two more times. Get both girls asleep and continue rocking them until it's safe to move them (usually like 15 minutes). Put girls in their crib. 10 minutes go by and Amelia wakes up. Rock her back to sleep and return her to crib. Almost immediately Eleanor wakes up. Put her back to sleep. Amelia wakes up again. Put her back to sleep (at this point at least an hour has gone by and it's time to feed them again), put her back in crib. Run to bathroom, get a snack ready to eat, fill up water bottle. Both girls are awake, time to feed them again. A good nap day means someone slept for 30 minutes straight. They are sleeping longer stretches at night which is awesome, but also makes me nervous because of the weight gain stuff. I stopped setting my alarm at night because they weren't getting enough sleep and that wasn't good either. They usually do wake me up every three hours but sometimes they go five between feeds. 

Amelia is up to 8lbs 5.5ozs. Her rate of gain is still on the slow side, so we are aggressively supplementing now with more formula. It's a huge bummer to me, but it's what I have to do to get her to grow. I have started the domperidone for my milk supply, and while I have noticed a significant increase, I'm not sure it will ever be enough to get off supplements, which is also a major bummer and I'm still sorting out my feelings on it.  Right now the plan is to keep on keeping on until they can have solids, which will help us use less formula. 

Other than some of these feeding issues Amelia is right on track. She started laughing, she holds toys, is sometimes rolling from front to back, stands when supported, sits when supported, follows toys with her eyes, is starting to reach for things. She's doing really well. 

She is also the one who naps less and doesn't like to be put down. It's a challenge and makes it so I rarely get much accomplished during the day, but that's ok. 

Amelia's personality is also starting to show. She checks things out thoroughly before interacting with things. She is purposeful in her noise making-- she usually has a reason! She likes being read to and looking at the pages in books, Eleanor is less patient during story time.

Eleanor was not wanting to have her picture taken! Hence why Brad's hands are in this picture. Eleanor likes to sit and look around. She's also exploring verbal sounds a lot, including cooing when she should be going to sleep! 

She's gaining well enough and is up to 9lbs 7.5lbs. She's pretty much moved up to all the one size diapers, which we are having so much fun with! 

She's definitely less content to just lay there, unlike her sister who likes to take it all in. Eleanor likes to have lots of contact and interaction. She has rolled with assistance from tummy to back, she hasn't laughed yet but will soon! 

She's also getting very grabby with her hands. She's always grabbing her clothes, my clothes, my hair... Her little hands like to be busy! 

As for me... I'm doing ok. I'm sleeping more so that's always good. I am very disappointed in how breastfeeding is turning out so I'm working through that. But overall I'm ok. Being home with my girls is hard at times but it is awesome too. I'm looking forward to the day when I can workout, get out of the house for longer than 40 minutes between feeds, and not have to worry about weight gain for the girls. At the same time I'm also trying to treasure these moments and not wish away where we are right now.