I want to talk about Mom Guilt.

Ok, so, this update isn't a style file or really a update on the girls. In the middle of all my 45minute nursing sessions, I've had time to reflect a little bit about mommy guilt. I've spent a lot of time feeling guilty/sad/depressed over things that are not within my realm of control. Of course it doesn't help that  before this week, the girls would pretty much be awake and crying with very little awake and happy time-- unless they were nursing of course. That was very trying and made me question everything. It got even worse when they would be fussy ALL DAY and then get even worse in the evening. Needless to say... I am so glad that this week they've been MUCH happier. It makes me be more confident as a mom that my babies are awake and happy. Oh, and that I was able to put Eleanor in the swing and Amelia in the bouncer and they STAYED NAPPING. That is a huge victory. Basically for the last 11 weeks I've had a baby on me at all times. That in and of itself is exhausting.

All of that fussy time made it impossible to do things like tummy time or other play time to work on some of their developmental skills. We had a pediatrician appointment yesterday for their "2 month" check up (never mind that it's actually closer to three months. Oops), and I had to fill out this HUGE questionnaire about how they're developing and I was very generous in my assessment of them and they still scored in the "grey area" in some areas. My babies don't really recognize me as their mom, Eleanor doesn't push her head up during tummy time, they only sometimes follow a toy with their eyes but will usually follow it with their heads, among other things. That's when mommy guilt kicked in. "I should have been doing x,y, and z differently because now my babies are BEHIND!" I spent some time sad about that but then realized a couple of things. 1.) They were premature. 2.) I was in survival mode. I can't do tummy time or help work on skills when we're still working on not crying if you're awake 3.) there is an obsession in the medical arena with making sure your babies develop at a certain rate, gain weight at a certain weight, etc. It's silly.

Also, at the appointment she freaked out about Amelia's weight gain and was "very concerned" about it-- but she was only looking at one piece of the puzzle. In six weeks she only put on 300ish grams which is not a lot, admittedly and definitely not following the WHO curve. BUT. I was aware of it. For two or so weeks I just let it go to see if she would start gaining, when she didn't I called in a lactation consultant to help and for a week tried a couple things to see if she would gain. When she didn't gain in that time I began supplementing her. For the first week of the supplement she put on four ozs in a week-- on target for the low end of normal. She did that for a while. Then this past week her gain kind of exploded and she put on four ozs in three or so days. The supplement is working and I'm comfortable at the rate she's gaining now. In fact-- in a month's time she's put on a pound. When I said that first, the doctor kind of brushed it off and continued to try to scare me into feeding her more formula. Here's the thing, I know why they freak out about this stuff. There are situations of neglect they have to keep track of, slow weight gain can be indicative of a medical problem, whatever. I am aware of the situation, though, and addressing it. She finally got talked down after I explained to her that in basically three weeks she put on 11ozs. In fact, from yesterday to this morning she put on 1.5ozs! Eleanor isn't quite where she wanted either, but I told her I just started supplementing her too and she's been doing fine ever since.

So back to this mommy guilt stuff. I felt guilty for having to give the girls a very small amount of formula-- they're each only getting 2ozs total per day. That's 1oz supplement after the last two feedings of the day before bed. Not a big deal at all. The guilt voice in my head, though, screamed that I SHOULD BE ABLE TO EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFEED! IT HAS TO BE ALL OR NOTHING! Then I felt guilty for NOT supplementing sooner and possibly contributing to the developmental stuff. Then I felt guilty for this little diaper rash, or the fact that I only get a chance to bathe them once a week, or this or that.

When I got home I decided that it's all silly. The developmental stuff is just what it is. We need to expect that they'll be a little behind because they were essentially four weeks early-- there is a reason babies need that 40 weeks inside! They are beautiful and I can already tell they're very smart girls and  they will catch up. The doctor wasn't actually concerned about this at all. Didn't even bring it up, so why was I feeling guilty about it? The weight stuff is silly because babies grow at their own rate. The weight gain is only one piece of the puzzle-- they are growing just fine in length and all of that. They have plenty of pee and poop diapers so they're NOT malnourished or dehydrated.

Basically, I've decided a couple of things. First, in regard to the weight gain obsession. It isn't my fault at all and I just need to do what is best to make my babies grow. I have done what I feel is best every single step of the way and that's all I can do. I have made informed decisions based on (real) research about breastfeeding and weight gain so I have no problem doing what I'm doing and not increasing their supplemental formula just yet. Regardless of how the numbers look right this second, I am comfortable with where both of the girls are. I have not done anything wrong in trying to make exclusively breastfeeding work, nor am I doing anything wrong in feeding them formula. Even if I chose to fully formula feed, that is no reason to be guilty.

Second, mom guilt is going to be a constant until...well forever I would imagine. I can't let it run my life because it's not correct thinking. If I am doing my best and doing what is best for the babies I have no reason to be guilty for any reason. So, moving forward I am trying very hard to not allow faulty thinking in regard to my mothering to drive me to feel upset, depressed, sad, or to make uninformed decisions. It isn't easy, especially in the midst of sleep deprivation, but once I decided that mom guilt is stupid...life has seemed much brighter. Especially because these moments happen:

8 Weeks

The girls are eight weeks! I can't hardly believe that it's been eight weeks.  We've had some ups and downs over the last four weeks.

Ups:

• In the last week or so they have been stretching to three hour eating intervals at night at least once, which means I get an extra hour of sleep! 
• I've met with a very helpful lactation consultant 
• We've fallen into a routine being on our own and for the most part we have had way more good days than bad. 
• Being on my own hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. It is difficult at times, but it isn't nearly as terrible as I built it up to be in my mind. 

Downs:

• Nursing has been a struggle. Not as bad as some people have it, but it has been hard. Amelia is not gaining as fast as she should and Eleanor is on the lower end of normal for weight gain. I've had to start supplementing Amelia again and will evaluate Eleanor's need to be supplemented on Friday (I have my own scale now to check on such things). Emotionally breastfeeding has been HARD because I have felt like I have done everything I can to get Amelia to gain right and she hasn't. Is it my fault? Probably not. In fact, I'm 100% sure it isn't my fault; milk is there she just does not transfer it well due to a shallow latch. Perhaps supplementing will help her because she will grow more and hopefully have more energy for nursing. Eleanor's latch also is kind of shallow and makes it difficult to get milk-- that's why they're still nursing for 45 minutes at a time. We're working on it for sure. In this case, being born at 36 weeks may be affecting their nursing ability so it may take longer for them to "get it" and get more efficient. I'm also taking some supplements to help build my supply as well as (trying) to pump some. The pumping isn't going well just because during the day when they're nursing every two hours for 45minutes at a time...well ain't nobody got time for pumping after that! I know I could transition to bottle feeding instead of breastfeeding, but I firmly believe the issues we are facing are 100% fixable and this too shall pass. I'm definitely giving it more time before I make any decisions on whether to continue or not. With the right help, I think we will be able to overcome these obstacles and get their latches right so everyone is happier. 
• Lack of sleep is catching up with us. Brad is getting sick with a cold and I'm just tired all of the time.
• This one is kind of silly: Eleanor is between sizes. New Born size clothes, especially pants, are generally too small but three month sizes are way too big! 

Amelia weighs 6 pounds 4.5 ozs now. After my last post at the pediatrician's she had gained 6ozs in 7 days while we were supplementing her. So, with the doctor's blessing, I dropped the supplement. She's still a little peanut for sure, but she is filling out a bit. We're working on fattening her up some more too.

In the last week or so Amelia is making happy faces. I'm not sure I would call it a smile per se but it's definitely a happy expression on her face. She doesn't do it in response to much; usually when we're going to change her we'll just look down and she's making the happy face.

Amelia likes being in the swing for limited amounts of time and it definitely does not calm her if she's already worked up. She would much prefer to be worn against me in the wrap. 

Eleanor weighs 7lbs 3.5ozs now. She's gaining relatively well, though still on the lower end of normal. She is also the fussier baby most of the time, which is why we have mostly crying pictures of her. I think the two in this post are the only two from the shoot where she is not crying. The girl is serious about eating-- when she wants it she wants it NOW not five minutes from now to finish up taking pictures.

Eleanor likes the swing and will sit in there happily for a while. If she's already worked up, though, she won't be calmed by it. She's also liking the bouncy seat more and more. This is a huge relief for me because I have to eat and use the bathroom at some point during day!

Aside from the stresses of nursing, things are going really well! I'm enjoying getting to know the babies.

1 Month....and we're still alive (mostly)

It's been a month and we're all still here, though my internet presence has drastically decreased. Turns out there isn't really a good way to be nursing two babies at the same time and be able to type. I go look at a lot of stuff online but rarely am I able to sit down and type something out. When babies eat every two to two and a half hours... it's just the way it is. :)

I managed to get some pictures of the babies, but as you can see it's difficult to get pictures of two babies with eyes open, not crying, and with the perfect settings on my camera. It all takes practice, I guess. :)

So far life is going well. I have had help for the last several weeks, and Brad's mom has extended her stay to help me this week too. It's been a huge help. Twins alone is HARD.

 Miss Amelia is definitely my more hands on baby. She's much more particular about how she's held, she has more tummy troubles, and she's my tiny little peanut. A point of prayer for her is that she begins to gain weight. At birth, both girls lost a lot of weight and needed to be supplemented with formula. The first two weeks they both gained well at home and the pediatrician gave his blessing to stop supplementing with the formula. The formula was a very small amount (15-20mls) after nursing, so it was not solely responsible for their initial weight gain. We simply did it to ensure that they were getting "topped off". These last two weeks, though, Amelia has only gained two ounces. They're looking for her to gain a half ounce to one ounce per day so she's obviously very much below that. Eleanor is gaining just fine, so I am sure it is not a supply issue on my end. I am meeting with a lactation consultant and going to see how much she is taking in at a feeding. We clipped a tongue tie about a week ago, so perhaps that was partly responsible for the minimal weight gain, but probably not 100% responsible.

In the mean time, I am trying to feed them more often. These last two weeks they were stretching their feedings to three or three and a half hours. I'm back to setting alarms and feeding them at the 2.5 hour mark during the day and the 3 hour mark at night instead of "on demand" because they were sleeping through feedings. I'm also working to build my supply more by drinking Mother's Milk tea, eating oatmeal, and I'm going to start pumping a bit after a feeding and using that to top off Amelia, since the pediatrician has asked us to start supplementing her again. I would freeze that milk, but we're also battling thrush so I can't freeze that milk until after it's 100% cleared up. I can express it and give it to them, but if I save it for later, I risk re-infection.

Eleanor is gaining mostly just fine, so we know enough milk is there for both babies since I feed them at the same time and switch sides at every feed. Eleanor is my more laid back baby, but she's also more impatient at feeding time. She goes from cuing that she's hungry to full on screaming in about two seconds.

A prayer point for Eleanor is that she has to go to a pediatric cardiologist to do an echo and heart ultrasound. We saw a different doctor in the practice for their 4 week check up, and she thinks she heard a heart murmur. It's not something we are OVERLY concerned about, but it is something she wants to send to a specialist just to make sure all is well. We'll be going on Wednesday morning, but I don't think they'll be doing any of the testing on that day. I think they're more just going to do a consult with MAYBE an in office EKG.

As for all of us, pray that I can function with minimal sleep. I feel ok during the day, but at night there may be some tears out of pure exhaustion. The babies want to eat at the 2.5 hour mark for most of the night, if not more often between the hours of 6pm and 12am. Like last night, one or both of the babies wanted to eat basically constantly from 6-10 and then it was time for both to eat in there too. I know cluster feeding is normal, but man it's exhausting. Also, the thrush infection is clearing up but needs to go away permanently and not come back.

I realize this post is mostly about feeding them, but hey, that's life for us right now!

Freezer Stash

I started this post the friday before the babies decided to arrive. Clearly, I didn't get much extra added to the stash that I was hoping to add. I never got the chance to do the pizzas, baked ziti, or the breakfast burritos I had planned to do. ;) Thankfully, my mom has added a few things.

Let me tell you, I am so glad I put several things in my freezer before the babies got here. It was a bit hectic at first not only because the girls were born, but also because there was just a lot of up and down with when they were going to come home and when my parents were going to get here. I was glad to have stuff already pretty much ready to go because it ended up that we got home on Saturday night and my parents arrived Sunday afternoon. Brad and I definitely did not have the energy or time to go out to the store to buy anything so it was good to have some stuff stashed away for an easy meal that we didn't have to think about. Anyway, without further ado, here's my Freezer Stash post! (and a gratuitous picture of the babies).

I think I've mentioned a few times on here that I'm making a (smallish) freezer stash of easy to heat up foods for after the babies get here. I have some wonderful friends who have said they will also be bringing us meals, but I wanted to also have some prepped ahead of time for when family is visiting us and to have just in case. It can never hurt to have stuff in the freezer. Thankfully most of this stuff can keep for a long time without getting gross.

I linked to the recipes I used from online. Anything that says "my own recipe" it basically means I just threw it together. Maybe some day I'll type out my method. Also, in the baked goods, I usually scaled back on the sugar and used whole wheat flour or whole wheat pastry flour instead of all purpose. Here's what I have so far:

• Chicken and black bean enchiladas- my own recipe
• Lasagna (made by a good friend of mine)
• Batch of chili- own recipe
• Batch of Tortilla Soup- I did tweak it some
• Batch of Chicken Noodle Soup- my own recipe
• Bean and Cheese burritos- inspired by Annie's frozen burritos, but mostly my own recipe
• Taco meat- this one is easy. Brown hamburger. Add taco spices. Freeze. ;)
• Oatmeal pumpkin muffins-- I can't remember where I got the recipe but truth be told it wasn't that great. I'm not making it again. In fact, I threw the recipe away! 
• Peanut butter oatmeal cookies
• Banana-oatmeal muffins
• Chocolate chip cookies-- from Betty Crocker's "The Cooky Book". 

I largely used recipes that I already use that I thought would freeze well. I did several soups for a couple of reasons. First, I like soup. Second, you can freeze soups flat in gallon bags which maximizes your freezer space. Since I'm only working with the freezer attached to my refrigerator, not a deep freeze, I needed to utilize my space to the best of my ability.  

My packaging methods are probably more haphazard than some. ;) As I mentioned, soups go in gallon freezer bags to freeze flat. Burritos get wrapped individually in aluminum foil and then placed in a gallon bag (I can usually get most of them in there). Muffins are wrapped individually in plastic wrap and then placed in a gallon bag. The enchiladas got frozen in a pyrex dish I have that has a lid, then I wrapped the whole thing up in plastic wrap. Lasagna is in a disposable foil dish with a lid. Pizzas get wrapped in plastic wrap, then in aluminum foil. There are probably better ways to do it and since I'm not planning on storing this stuff for MONTHS on end, I thought it would all be ok. 

I'm just excited to have some nutritious meals on hand. I know it's hard for me to get up and cook a meal when I'm tired, so then it's boxed mac and cheese or ordering pizza. Both of which I want to avoid after the babies arrive. Nursing two babies and trying to be healthy myself means I need to eat things that are nutrient dense and good for me! Plus... I gotta work on that 80lbs I gained this pregnancy. ;) 

Babies are here!

As you've probably seen on Facebook, the babies arrived on Tuesday September 17th, at 8:16am and 8:23am. Labor was fast and delivery was very very smooth. My birth story is a bit of a blur because everything happened so fast, but I want to write it out before I forget details I want to remember.

On Monday, I went into labor and delivery because I had felt reduced movement from the babies. I wasn't really too concerned, but with twins it's always always always better to be safe than sorry. My short trip to L and D involved a quick non-stress test where they monitored the babies heart rates and tried to determine if I was having contractions. Turns out, I was having contractions but I couldn't feel them. My cervix was still at 3cm, just like it was at my appointment the week before. So they sent me home, and I expected to go home and wait at least another week.

By bed time that night, I was having a low back ache, which I attributed to the cervical check because I had been getting back aches after each check for a couple of weeks now, so I just applied some heat and went to sleep. I woke up at 1:30am to use the bathroom and the backache was a bit worse but I just ignored it and went back to sleep for a while. By 2:30 am, I was having contractions that were still somewhat sporadic but definite contractions. I was waiting around for the magic numbers: having contractions that were 60 seconds long and at least 3-5 minutes apart. Mine never really organized themselves that way, I would have a 60 second contraction and then either immediately have several 30 second contrations or nothing for like seven minutes. I was able to walk through my contractions for the most part all the way up to delivery!

Anyway, I wasn't able to go back to sleep after waking up at 2:30, so Brad got up and finished packing the hospital bag and I was progressively needing to vocalize and move through contractions. Sitting and lying down were just not options. I started experiencing some bloody show around 3 or 4am. At 4:30 I decided it was time to call the doctor because I was beginning to throw up (transition?! already!? My contractions aren't the magic numbers!!!). She obviously told me to come on in.

Once at the hospital (which the ride involved a very very very very uncomfortable mama because the babies were moving down which put IMMENSE pressure in a lot of places. Sitting was so so so bad for it. The car ride also involved throwing up and then dumping it out at a stoplight. No judging), I don't think any one expected me to be as far along as I was. While they got me to change and tried hooking up monitors, the nurse checked me and determined I was at 7cm already (at this point it was shortly before 6 am).

Then it got a little chaotic. We needed the epidural to be placed about an hour before I showed up to the hospital, there was no doctor currently there to order the epidural, and the epidural was something we really needed due to the nature of twin births and the number of unexpected things that can occur in them. By the time my doctor go there, I was feeling the need to start pushing, which of course was not allowed. She checked me and I was fully dilated. So there I was sitting at 10cm with a bulging bag of water, a baby's head practically RIGHT THERE, being told not to push and wait for the epidural. This was the worst part of the whole labor process. Waiting and trying not to push. FINALLY, somehow the epidural was placed around 7am ish and despite contractions coming every 1-2 minutes I was able to sit still long enough to get the drugs.

Epidural given and in effect. My attitude improved a lot at this point.

Once the epidural was in place, the doctor broke my water. The epidural was too strong for me to feel the sensation to push, so they allowed me to rest for a while before doing some practice pushes. By this time it was after seven, so it was shift change and another doctor from the practice came in and would be who delivered me. This wasn't a HUGE deal because I had seen this doctor the most, but had not yet had a chance to go over my birth plan with her. Anyway, she had my epidural dialed down a little bit, and I was able to start pushing. They wheeled me down to the OR because they want to make sure they're prepared for anything. The getting prepped part was interesting because there was bed switching, tons of staff around, and a lot going on at once. Once Brad was in the room we began pushing.

Getting ready to head to the OR

Eleanor Jane was born at 8:16 am. She weighed 6 lbs .5 ozs. Amelia Claire was born at 8:23am and weighed 5 lbs 8.5 ozs. Both did very well considering that they came early at 36 weeks. The first 48 hours of life they lost a lot of weight, so we needed to begin supplementing with formula. This weight loss combined with monitoring bilirubin levels meant they had to stay in the hospital two extra days. I was discharged on Thursday and the babies came home Saturday afternoon.

Eleanor is on the left and Amelia is on the right.

My birth experience was basically what I wanted with one little blip. The doctor did cut an episotomy even though I would have preferred to tear. I think this was more of a result of not being able to go over my Birth Plan with her before I showed up fully dilated and ready to push. But, overall, my experience was wonderful and I don't think I could have asked or wanted anything else in regard to the actual birth process.

Style File: 35 Weeks

 Well...35 weeks. Only two more until full term! I'm a day late on this post, sorry about that. Sometimes you just can't get it all done in one day and I'm ok with that. At least I got 35 week pictures done. That was looking iffy there for a moment. Brad is napping right now and I so wanted to join him but... I slept until almost nine this morning and I decided I didn't really *need* a nap. I wouldn't have slept anyway.

This week's outfit is definitely the same dress from a couple weeks ago paired with the same scarf and jean jacket from a couple of weeks before that. Part of me is like "Well, that's pretty lame" but the other part of me is like "Well, that's how it is!". I do not have the time nor financial resources to keep a huge maternity wardrobe, especially at this stage of the game. But to be fair, the outfit I was going to take photos of today had a mishap when I wore it to work this week. I've always been a clumsy eater, but I swear the belly has it's own gravitational pull when it comes to anything remotely drippy. But I digress.

 Minus my puffy feet, this outfit makes me feel put together. It was 66 degrees when I woke up this morning so I took the opportunity to do a little bit of layering. I think I've decided if I have my way, if we ever get pregnant again I would like to be pregnant in the fall and winter. Not necessarily because summer was hot (it was), but because I like layering. It's so much easier to feel more styled when I can layer on a scarf and jacket. I think part if it is I also feel less conspicuous than when I'm just wearing a tee shirt and shorts (though that type of outfit was totally necessary in July when it was so dang hot outside!).

As far as the babies are concerned, things are looking good! My blood pressure was down to normal at my appointment on Tuesday. My labs also came back normal so that pretty much means pre-eclampsia is not a worry. It never really was, but they like to keep tabs on such things especially for women carrying multiples. All signs are pointing to the fact that the babies will be here sooner rather than later. My doctor did ask me to begin staying off my feet and limiting my activities, including no longer working. She's hoping this will get me at least another week with these babies inside. So far, I've made it from Tuesday to Saturday so I think we have a good shot of at least making it to next week sometime. I'm really praying they hold out until well into my 36th week because it is better for them in terms of lung development and the ability to suck and eat well. But, if they were born in the next ten minutes they may have a bit of a hospital stay but overall, barring anything weird coming up, they would do relatively well.

My last day of work was yesterday, and it was a bit of a relief. I've made some great friends with some of the other ladies I work with, but it was a definite relief to be able to walk away from the stress that it was causing me. My job is an ordinary desk job, but lately there have been some University wide changes that have caused a significant amount of stress on everyone, coupled with the fact that the department reduced the credit hours required to graduate with the MA in Government... It was pretty busy there for a while. I would come home so swollen that I couldn't bend my ankles very well and forget about cooking dinner. All of that was impacting my ability to sleep so I was perpetually exhausted (on top of normal pregnancy exhaustion). I spent most of the week at home, working online, to wrap up but let me tell you... I have slept so well this week without the added stress and discomfort working gave me. I did go into the office for a few hours yesterday for my final wrap up and to make sure I got all my junk out of my office. All that to say, it is bittersweet because that job was my first "big girl" job out of college and I will miss seeing the ladies I worked with. It's a good thing we all live in the same area so I should be able to keep up with them!

So there you have it. The bumpdate can be summed up like this: babies could come at any time, but they might wait a few more weeks. Life is much more comfortable now that I do not have to go to work anymore.

I'll definitely update when something happens, but until then... if there's no news just assume nothing is happening. :)

Style File: 34 Weeks...where I break my own rules

 Rule Number 1 I am breaking: always check your hair before taking outfit photos. Clearly, I'm having a bit of a wild hair day. ;) But no matter! Sometimes my hair is wild. Especially when it's been like a million percent humidity for at least a week.

Here I am at 34 weeks. That means that the babies are about the sizes of butternut squashes. Or if you go by BabyCenter they are the sizes of cantaloupes. Basically, I don't think this fruit/veggie comparison is all that accurate. ;) They're probably roughly 4.5 or 5 lbs at this point. 34 weeks also means I can deliver at the hospital I want to deliver at (yay!) and that if they came now, while they would still be premature, they would likely not have a ton of hospital time.

Rule number 2 I am breaking: Leggings are not pants.

I'm pretty sure these are actually leggings. But they were hanging with the maternity pants at Target and they're quite thick. Plus they were 30 dollars which is pants price. So maybe they're Pleggings? well...they're comfortable and they're going to be my "work pants" for the next couple of weeks. Of course I'll wear long shirts and all of that jazz. Let me tell you. Getting dressed is definitely a challenge these days. I'm down to very few items that work or are comfortable. But I don't have that much longer and hopefully will shrink back in size somewhat. ;)

I also like how comfy this shirt is. I'm undecided on the flattering factor, but it's comfortable and I can still wear it to work.  At this point...I don't really care. ;) Thanks Old Navy!

Babies are doing well to my knowledge. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and for the most part everything is fine. My blood pressure is a smidge higher than it should be, so they did some blood work and are having me come in next week on tuesday instead of waiting a full week. They're moving me to weekly appointments anyway, so it's not a huge deal. Bummer for me because that means I have to miss work ( ok...maybe that isn't a HUGE bummer. Sorry work), but it just is what it is. If my BP is still wonky next week they'll talk to me about what my options are. So far it isn't a huge concern at all because it isn't that high; just higher than mine has normally been. Babies are both still vertex and are pretty much sitting head to head one on the left and one on the right.

We have most of our baby projects finished! Be sure to check out the nursery post if you haven't already! I packed (well halfway packed) my hospital bag last weekend and have a list of remaining items to be placed in it sitting on top. Mostly what's left on the list are clothes I'm still wearing (like leggings, t-shirts, etc). As I get closer and closer to 37 weeks, I'll start putting those things in there and just dealing without. I'm working on a play list to take with us. I'm not sure how much music I'll actually want to play, but I figured I do tend to put on music when I'm trying to focus on something, so I should probably have that option available. It's not like loading it to the iPad is going to be all that big of a deal.

Oh, and side note: I am currently comfortably wearing Brad's old wedding band. Yay swelling!